Welcome to Earth: Spike’s First Taste of Times Square

🌍 Filed from: Earth, Sector NYC-001

Greetings from the blue planet!
I’m Spike. Interstellar explorer. Galactic surfer. Part-time snack critic.
Today was supposed to be a simple landing… instead, I crash-landed into something called Times Square. It was loud. Bright. Full of pretzel smells. I think I loved it.

🚀 Touchdown Chaos

I aimed for a calm entry point.
Instead, I slammed into a vortex of lights, giant screens, and Earthlings holding glowing rectangles (which I now know are “phones,” not weapons).

They didn’t panic. In fact, they started taking pictures of me.

“Are you from a Marvel movie?” one asked.
“No, I’m from Blorvnak-5,” I replied.

They cheered.
Earthlings are weird. I like them.

🌭 Hot Dogs & Holograms

Glitch, my gadget sidekick, tried scanning a hot dog cart. Big mistake.
He levitated a hot dog. The vendor fainted.

We rated the hot dog:
🧪 Nutrition – unknown.
😋 Flavor Weirdness – 10/10

Then I found the sacred artifact: a pretzel.
Salty. Twisted. Mysterious.
I examined it. Strange.

🚨 Pretzel Laws & Police Sirens

Mid-bite, flashing red and blue lights appeared.
A vehicle labeled “NYPD” screeched around the corner.
Had I broken a food law?

“Did I break an Earth law?” I asked Glitch.
“Unknown,” he replied. “Possibly snack theft.”

I froze.
The humans?
They clapped.

🎉 The Crowd Goes Wild

Apparently, my panic read as performance art.
A tourist with a giant foam finger shouted:

“BEST. SHOW. EVER.”

I waved.
They waved back.
Glitch hovered dramatically.
Someone threw me another pretzel.

🪐 Status Report: Earth

Earth is loud.
Earth is strange.
Earth… might be my new favorite place in the galaxy.

 

👁️ Coming Next:

Tomorrow, I visit something called the pyramids.
Glitch says humans built them. I have a theory: maybe they didn’t.

Until next time—
Keep your snacks salty, and your landings bouncy.
— Spike 👽